Freeze Dried Acorns and Mongolian Sex Slaves

2009-09-18T04:14:00.000-07:00

Well the winds of change are blustering relentlessly through the densely wooded forest of my mind and no doubt a mitigating factor in the seemingly endless delay in posting this blog. Apologies indeed to the millions of Off The Hoofers worldwide from Barnsley to Benidorm who’ve no doubt been eagerly awaiting this first instalment of the life and times of Posh Eddy. The first of many I hope, lest I be struck down with Swine Fever, or a partially disabled pigeon flying recklessly toward me.

As my mind absorbs the chaos and cruelty in the world, the one word which seems to permeate all the madness is ‘change’. Are you feeling it too? Surely we can’t perpetuate this endless cycle negative vibe. Perhaps it’s just a coming-of-age thing for me (at 28 it’s about time). Perhaps it has something to do with the coming Galactic Alignment of 2012 and I’ve watching too many interviews with Hopi Elders espousing the coming shift in the collective consciousness.

Perhaps I think too much and should just book a one way ticket to India, set up camp with a cosmic guru and massage my increasingly hectic mind in the soft caress of mind-altering narcotics for years to come. Or perhaps I should actually take life more seriously. Perhaps we all should.

Our planet is in trouble. Humankind is in trouble. Shit pretty much every aspect of our fragile and multi-faceted ecosystem is in trouble and it disturbs me to the point of grim realisation that most gentlefolk my age and beyond are more interested in getting laid and hooking their already heavily sedated minds up to their Playstations for yet another fix of Grand Theft Auto. Am I alone in thinking there’s more to life than this?

But then everyone wants to get laid I suppose, or should do. The world would be a far more compassionate and conciliatory place, and a damned site more placid. Am almost certain Hitler and Stalin were both sexually frustrated beyond measure, even though I have little or no sound historical evidence to support this theory. Not least because the former had a penis resembling a freeze-dried acorn and the latter could barely walk past another human being without them experiencing an involuntary and crippling bout of bladder-releasing fear. Between the two of them they probably had about as much mutually affectionate sexual-healing as a Mongolian sex-slave in the harem of Genghis Khan (which I suspect was not a fun place if you were on the receiving end).

In case you’re thinking I’m an obsessively morose and depressing individual to be around please be assured I’m really quite the opposite. You’ve all just caught me in a deeply contemplative mood. It would appear I have lost my mirth for one night and it just happens to be tonight. I aspire to live in a world free from the clutches of sexually frustrated tyrants and the kind of people who think the term ‘collateral damage’ is an acceptable terminological reference for the deaths of thousands of Iraqi (and now Afghan) civilians.

I apologise for this rather brash and heavy handed instalment of this now probably defunct and seldom visited blog. But the world is fucked up and it needs to change does it not? Suppose a lot of the time we edit out the bad vibe to live in the good vibe. But that’s no good. But then neither is living a life saturated in anger, hatred and frustration at the differences which define humanity. Bottom line it’s all about love and tolerance. I just want to see more love.

Until the next instalment when my mirth returns….. signing off with love. A deeply pensive Posh Eddy.

Posh Eddy Blog

Freeze Dried Acorns and Mongolian Sex Slaves